Saturday, August 30, 2008

Becky is my leader (said in a robot voice).

Becky changed her background, so I did too. I'm not sure if I like it or not yet. Becky, what do you think? I honestly don't know what to do with myself without her and Parsley Pants to entertain me.

On the first day of school I found out that the school I worked for last year, where I was assured on the last day of school last year that I would have the same class room next year, no longer had a job that worked for me, so I am jobless. I have picked up two hours a day at the rec center, so I go straight there after dropping Sam off at school. I work my two hours and then I use one of the elliptical trainers for 30 minutes. Right after that is where the part about me being lost starts. Thankfully my friend Melissa has kept me entertained for two afternoons and she also lets me hug and kiss her sweet baby. My cousin, Andrea let me help her move in to her dorm and live vicariously through her for an afternoon. She also kept me company a few days in the last two weeks. So my life has two main problems.

Problem #1 - I don't want a job. I want Becky to come back and hang out with me everyday.

Problem #2 - I am a total job snob. I applied to the library, which , let's face it, would be my dream job. They don't have any openings right now, but they will keep my application for 6 months and then they will have it when an opening comes up. I also filled out a freaky long application for our school district. I am watching their postings for an opening at Sam's school. So, I only want to work if it's at the library or Sam's school. And I'm being snobby about where in Sam's school I want to work too. No sweeping or cleaning toilets. I'm happy to work with teachers, in the classrooms, or in the office, in the lunch room, on the playground, even in a little closet sorting take home readers. Who knows what the wicked job fairy brings.

Problem #3 - I know I said I have 2 main problems but I thought of another. I have cried for the third year in a row on the first day of school! This year, not only did I cry on the first day, I cried at back to school night. Why am I such a boob? Why after two full years and a well adjusted child am I still having the urge to roll down the window as he walks away from the car and scream,"COME BACK!!!". I picture him running back to the car, jumping in and me peeling out and racing away, never to go back. Why can't he stay a baby, or even a three year old? And is feeling like an obsessed mother a good enough reason to start home schooling. Maybe it's the number one reason NOT to home school. It's not like I don't have hobbies, I do. I just miss him and I want him to stop growing up.

Sorry for the random post. Oh well, what can you do?


Studyvin Says said...

I feel your pain in missing Becky. It must be tough having her gone. I also envy you girls with the close relationship you have with each other and your mother.
You should not give up hope on a library job. I got mine last year. I have the best of both worlds--I get to be in the classroom half day and the librarian half day.
I got my Master's Degree for Library (they have a fancy title etc) all online at the University of Nebraska at Kearney (a couple hours west of Becky). But the program can be done all online. Email me and I'll give you details.

Jeanna said...

I like the new stuff, but I would suggest changing the background to the words...the part in the doesn't seem to fit. Other than that, I really do like the new stuff.

Sorry you are feeling so down. I hope your job snobbery pays off and you get what you want.

Reno Wells said...

My suggestion is go volunteer at Sam's school. Make sure the principle and all the teachers and secretary know who you are. Then when a position opens up for pay, they will offer it to you. You will also be at Sam's school and can have lunch with him everyday unitl he tells you to stop it.

Reno Wells said...

Also, look into what it takes to be a substitute teacher and work toward that. That would be money in your pocket and the ability to say no thanks if you are busy that day.

Holley, Dane Brien & Wesley Berry said...

I know its hard watching your little guy turn into a big guy! I've had a trying week with getting my boys off to school and ready to take on more of the world.

Good luck with your job hunt. I hope you find that perfect situation. I'll keep you in my prayers. Maybe we should all play the lottery and if/when one of us strikes it rich, we can rescue everyone else.... I know I live in Fantasy Land.... how else am I supposed to cope :-)

Meesa said...

I like your new blog back ground a lot! I totally get not wanting to let go. I worry so much for Thomas while he is gone. Also, it's okay to be a job snob, I did clean toilets full time when Chris and I first got married and I hated it. I was a building coordinator at Heleman Halls on BYU's campus. We seriously had to hand wax 4 flights of stairs monthly and that is just one example of the crazy stuff I had to do. I think it would be kind of cool to be a lunch lady though. I love to cook, but I bet dealing with the kids everyday would be irritating. Maybe I could go wait outside the back door at the library and whack one of the workers in the knee with a tire iron. I bet that would put them out long enough that they would need to replace them, at least temporarily!!

The Hungry said...

Love your new look. Reminds me of the great book PERSIAN PICKLE CLUB - you've read that haven't you? I think Liz gives you some great advice in getting known down at Sam's school - I also kind of like "meesa"'s idea ;-) And on sending kids off - I feel your pain. Every year - granted no tears usually - I worry about sending my kids off to school and my baby started high school this year - never gets easier for me. The worry of it anyway. I gave a talk in sacrament meeting Sunday. Two "analogy/parable" stories I used were from Ryan's life - every time I said his name - I cried! It made my friends who have college kids laugh.

Opfar said...

First- the background is great, very cute. B, I don't think you're being a job snob if you know what you want! Better that than just doing any job and not caring about it. And VII: I seriously considered homeschooling by the time I got home from school and there were no boys running around & trains to trip over. You're not making me feel better! Now I'm thinking I'll freak out everytime!

Becky said...

I told you, I think pasley is weird. It reminds me of Mr. Pasley, the band teacher in West Yellowstone...but, I do like the colors and it does look classic.

I approve.

I miss you terribly. I wish you could come to our new apartment and sit and lay all over the floor with me and Marley.

KordelandHeather said...

If you miss holding a baby that much, you can come and hold mine. I would LOVE the break. I'm just sad I was having a baby in all of the moving of Becky so I didn't get to say goodbye! I like the sub-teacher idea....except for the pay!

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