Thursday, April 29, 2010

Bun in the Oven

Yes, my oven.

There are some things we are doing differently. I want IV nutrition this time. There was a internist in California who did it for me while I was pregnant and terribly sick with Sam. I think it may have been the difference between Sam and all the others. I'm the first to admit it may not be the magic bullet, but I think it's worth a try. My OB said he would go along with it if I could get the perinatologist to recommend it. We went to a perinatologist before I was pregnant, and we pleaded our case. She wouldn't recommend an IV or a pic line, but she will put a feeding tube in my nose, through my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines when I get really sick. I'm nervous about this because it will be dangling at the back of my throat for 10-14 days and, as we well know, my gag reflex has a hair-line trigger.
She has three criteria for this to be a viable option. First, I need to be at least 8 weeks because they will need to do an x-ray to be sure the tube is positioned properly. She doesn't want to do an x-ray before 8 weeks. Second, I need to have lost weight from the throwing up. And last, there has to be ketones in my urine. This is a toxin released by the body when it's breaking itself down and burning itself for fuel.
In the mean time she has me eating every three hours. Even in the night. We're trying to trick my body into feeling busy, rather than sick. So far, it seems to be working. I usually get sick between 6 and 8 weeks, being full blown sick by 8 weeks. I'm 7 weeks now and I have felt a little nauseous a few times, but as soon as I eat I feel better. I think it's the eating in the night that's making the big difference. So every night before we go to sleep, Matt says, "When was the last time you ate." I tell him and then we count on our fingers three hours ahead and he sets the alarm. Then he walks over to the desk and counts ahead three hours from the alarm clock, and sets another alarm clock. Then he goes to his alarm clock and sets it. When he wakes up he resets his alarm clock to three hours after my second one, so I'm sure to wake up in time to eat again. So in short, we have three alarm clocks in our room going off four times in the night. It's so fun.
I also went on a short little road trip to Idaho with some friends. We had a visit with a muscle therapist. He taught me how to stimulate my kidneys into flushing fluid more efficiently. My legs had been swelling since the fifth and sixth weeks. It's different and not something I'm familiar with or used to, but it's working. It has kept the fluid out of my legs all week.
My poor body does not like to be pregnant. But I'm hoping 7th times a charm and things all work out. Whether we have a baby in December or not, I know I won't regret trying. So, please, keep us in your prayers.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Biggest Loser Open Casting Call

Do you watch? I do, and I love it! It's inspiring. Inspiring enough to get my Large Marge Tushy off the couch and exercising? Maybe not... It did get us off the couch on March 20th, when we went to the Open Casting Call in Salt Lake City.

The Call was to be held from 10am to 5pm and the rules were you couldn't get in line more than three hours in advance.

I set my alarm to go off a 5:30 am. That would give us enough time to get up , shower, primp, make lunches and drive to Salt Lake City and get in line by 7.

I woke up at 6:08 am. My alarm didn't go off. Apparently I don't know how to set an alarm clock properly. I layed in bed for a good 15 minutes and had some inner whining and groaning about the fact that we were behind schedule. I know, it doesn't make sense. I just set us behind even more.

Once I rousted myself out of bed we got going and ended up in line by 8:30. The line was already half way around the block. I couldn't believe it and I'm pretty sure a lot of the people ahead of me didn't follow the rules.

Sam was with us and he kept himself busy and rarely whined.

It was cold!

Especially in the shade, which there was a lot of.

It was beautiful weather. The sky was clear and the sun was shining.

We brought chairs to sit on. Smartest thing we did all day.

Matt didn't really want to be there but he was a good sport.

He wasn't whining, but the sun was in his eyes.

We cuddled to keep warm and busy.

Sam took a nap standing up.

Not really.

This was the view about 3.5 hours into the wait. About this time there was info being passed down the line. They were taking 20 people at a time, who went into the studio and split up 10 to a table for a group interview lasting 8 minutes. We were also told they were stopping right at 5pm. We weren't sure we would make it.

Getting closer. If you look at the center of the picture you can see a camera just above the heads of the people in line. That is the front of the line.

This is me with my numbered application. I was number 775. The closer we got the the front the more the energy in the line changed. It was exciting.

The group ahead of us waving their apps, about to be ushered into the doors!

So Close!

We waited 7 HOURS!

Right inside the first set of doors there were about 15 security guards. I guess they were worried about a bunch of fat people storming the building.

Through the next set of doors we were met by a small bossy young woman who gave us some tips and a stapler to attach our pictures to the application. She pointed out that there were now 30 people being called in and we would sit 15 to a table.We needed to make ourselves stand out without being obnoxious. She said if we were getting called back at all we would find out that night and if we got a call from a 310 area code we should answer. She also told us we couldn't bring Sam in. I freaked. I didn't wan to to leave him outside alone. The girl behind us told me to say he's autistic. I had a quick image of me having to play that lie out through a whole season of BL. Matt took him to wait with a security guard.

We got into the studio and there was a scramble for chairs. All these nice ladies we had spent the day with suddenly got a bit aggressive. I picked up a chair that was set a bit apart and started to carry it to the other side of the table so I could sit by Matt. I wanted the interviewer to see how gorgeous we are together. He said, "Hey, if you sit behind me I won't be able to see you." I told him I was taking it to the other side to sit by my partner. Dude said,"It's ok, set it there we will make sure your applications are together before you leave." I sat down. Matt was on the other side. Neither one of us was really sitting AT the table.

The interviewer pointed out that Matt was the only guy in the group. I yelled, "That's my partner!" Dude looked at me and gave a knowing nod of the head. I had to mark my territory.

Dude asked if we were married. Matt said, "Yes." I said, "Booyah!" (Just kidding, I didn't, but I wish I had. I was too worried about coming across as obnoxious.) Then Dude had everyone go around the table and say our names, ages, and occupation. Then we went around the table to tell our food weakness. (Which I thought was lame. Just because we are fat doesn't mean we can only talk about food. Right?) When I said," Doughnuts and breads. I'm addicted to carbs." The dude turned to Matt and asked if I was telling the truth. When Dude got around to Matt, Matt said," Reese's peanut butter cups, but I prefer the egg or tree shaped ones because they have more peanut butter and the chocolate is softer." The whole table erupted in agreement. Dude looked at me and asked if Matt was telling the truth. I said, " Yeah, My sugar likes his sugar." (Ok, I didn't say that last part either, but I really wish I had. I just said, " Yeah, he really likes those.)

Interview over.
We were at the table for less than 5 minutes!
And we didn't get called back.

It has been a huge disappointment in my life. We must not have been fat enough. Surely they weren't rejecting our great personalities or our stylish good looks. I really wanted to be fat enough. I really wanted a skinny lady to yell swear words in my face while forcing me to kill myself by way of push ups. I really wanted that.
But the biggest disappointment was the lack of swag and entertainment provided to us while waiting in line. I was hoping to see one or two past cast members strutting their skinny selves around chatting it up with those of us in line. Maybe I expected one of them to have one of those awesome T-Shirt Guns like mascots use and they would shoot shirts at us that say Gillian is the bomb! on them. I think Subway should have been there passing out samples and coupons. Same with Britta, Ziploc, and extra gum. I mean, if they are going to make us watch commercials DURING THE SHOW the least they can do for us fans and hopefuls is show up and give us free stuff. At the least, someone should have come out and giving a rah,rah speech to us just before we went in.

Also, I was expecting them to send us to a little camera booth where we could talk to the camera and stuff. Matt and I had a song we prepared to sing to the camera. No such luck.

Instead, on our way out we got to take a LIVE5 Weather Calendar as we walked out. They were just there in a stack. Not even a person handing them out and thanking us for spending a whole day devoted to their show.

They really should hire me to their PR department. When is the casting call for that job?