Wednesday, December 29, 2010

3 Weeks!

Finally, a happy progression shot. Don't worry, I won't be doing this EVERY week of her life. Just on the first four weeks and then once a month after that for the first year. It's something I wish I had done with Sam. But I was young and stupid back then. Now I'm just stupid.
Coming soon:
A Christmas Post
Comparison pics between Sam and Lola
Some beautiful shots my sister Becky took of Lola when she was just three days old.

Who do you think she looks like?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

2 Weeks Old

And again with the anger. Poor baby went to the doctor this morning and the pricked her heel for the PKU test. She did not like that and neither did I. I had more tears than she did. It was really sad. Also really sad for me is that she gained 9 oz. last week and she is already 1.25 inches taller than when she was born. She was born a 6lbs. 12 oz. and 17.75 inches. When we left the hospital she was down to 6lbs. 3 oz. which was about 3% loss and totally normal for a new born. Three days later on her five day appointment she was 6 lbs 10 oz. Now, nine days later she is 7lbs. 3 oz. and 20 inches long. Why must they grow up so fast?

Here is a pic of her a little happier.
And here she is at her happiest, huggin' and sleepin' on her big bro.

Monday, December 20, 2010

The answer to the mystery...

Andrea was right! It's pink dryer lint. I guess I washed and dried a particularly pink load recently and BAM, pink lint. That's never happened at our house before. I think I like it.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

One week old already... and a mystery.

Lola is spending more time awake. Once for a 20 minute stretch.
Miss Lola was not very happy with me during this shot.

This is something I have never seen before.
Take a guess.
Answer on Friday.
P.S. I like to put my nose by Lola's mouth so I can smell her breath. It smells good. Is that weird?

Monday, December 13, 2010


Remember these toys from the 80's? I'm pretty sure there was one floating around our house during my childhood but I don't remember who it belonged to. Becky, I think.
This is the moment I realized I gave birth to one.

Yeah, there is definitely a resemblance.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


Lola Joy Johnson
11:56 a.m.
6lbs. 12 oz.
17 3/4 inches

Monday, November 29, 2010

Less than 2 weeks to go!

We are super anxious here.
On pins and needles.
Twiddling our thumbs.
Tapping our toes.

Then Sam says, "Mom, what if I accidentally marry a strict wife?"
I guess his mind isn't quite stuck on the same things mine is...

Thursday, November 11, 2010

There is a big baby here...

And it's me. I just BAWLED through Toy Story 3 and then I begged Sam not to grow up and leave me. I won't be able to handle it. I'll probably curl up in the attic and hope he has kids who will come and play with me.
This afternoon, I took Sam to a Sibling Class at the hospital. At the class we watched a movie that explained to him what would be happening to his mom and baby during labor, delivery and recovery. Not the gritty details of course, but it showed what the room would look like and the monitors that would be on us and the baby warmer and the nursery, etc. Sam seemed so grown up, even though he wouldn't answer any of the questions and was acting super shy, that is until it was time to go. The teacher told him he could take and extra cookie wrapped in a napkin home with him for after his dinner. She didn't want him to ruin his appetite. Sam wrapped up a cookie, put it in his goodie bag, then took another for the road and chomped down on it as we walked out the door. No shame. I found out later that he also helped himself to a free baby name booklet.
On the way to the car he told me how surprised he was to see a little baby doll pop out of the knitted womb the lady had. He said, "I was not expecting that!" Then we laughed. I don't know what he thought was in there. She told him what it was.
Speaking of crying, I was crying to Matt the other night, it was about the garbage getting emptied... Don't ask... I can't explain it... I'm so emotional. I recovered and Matt went about his business. A few minutes later Sam came up and said, "Mom, are you okay?"
Me: Yeah, why?
Sam: Dad said you were crying.
Me: Why did he tell you?
Sam: I don't know. He always tells me his problems. Then he expects me to fix them.

He then shook out a garbage bag and proceeded to empty the trash can in my room. I couldn't stop laughing. Then I laughed again when I told Matt about that little conversation and Matt looked completely perplexed and said, "Sam said that? Do nine year olds think like that?"

Back in October there was a night when Sam took a marathon bath. Matt walked by and told Sam it was time to get out. A few minutes later he did it again, this time a little louder. Then Matt went downstairs and we heard the front door close. Then Sam said, from the bath, "Mom, where did Dad go?"
Me: I don't know, maybe he took out the trash. (I'm obsessed, can you tell?)
Sam: He probably went to get you a shake and me nothing.
Me: No.
Sam: I think he went to get you a castle and me a butler suit...

Where does he come up with this stuff?

I know this is getting long, but there is one more story. Two weekends ago we went to Shane Co. to get my ring cleaned and checked. We love to do this. They have free water bottles and hot cocoa. And my ring magically becomes like knew. We all got our drinks and then Sam got comfortable in the waiting area. As I walked away Sam said quietly to himself, "Ahhhh, this is the life, sitting in a big chair, with some hot chocolate, in a diamond store."

Friday, October 29, 2010

My little Punk Rocker

Sam and his dad carved the pumpkin on Wednesday night.
Sam got to do the dirty work this year and he wasn't too happy about it, at first.
As in years past, they drew their sketches and then circled their favorites and then voted on the one they wanted on the pumpkin. Sam came up with this design. I think it looks like a Wild Thing from the book, Where the Wild Things Are. I love it!
Speaking of Wild Things-
Introducing: Rocker Sam!

Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 25, 2010

At least watch the last 10 seconds.

One of Sam's video games has what he calls a movie at the beginning. I consider it more of like a trailer for the game. The music is beautiful. It's sung by a choir. When Sam doesn't know anyone is watching, he really gets into the song and sings along. He's usually very theatrical. So, Matt set the laptop to video record and then invited Sam over to watch. You may notice he knows all the words, except that they aren't real words, just noises like, "dee dee doo". I wish he had performed more like he usually does. But it's all worth it if you watch to the end and see his reaction when he finds out we recorded him. Hilarious!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

For your viewing pleasure?

Matt took this two weeks ago at the tail end of 31 weeks.

We are now at 33 weeks.

Seven more weeks to go!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Dinner for the neighbors.

This weekend Matt and I were going to take dinner to our neighbors who recently had a baby. On Saturday morning we discussed what we should take them and this was Matt's hilarious idea:

"Let's get them some McDonald's but peel the Monopoly stamps off before we deliver the food."

Am I tho only one who finds this hilarious in a few different ways?

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Is that snail on my...?

Sam is once again roller blade bound. He has his fifth flat tire in one month. This time it's a repeat of the back tire. We put goo in the tire after the last flat and earlier this week all the goo started to squish out of the tire... What now? At what point to you say, "too bad, no more bike for you."
Anyway, today after school, Sam burst into the house, roller blades and all with his pencil box from school. I could see there were flower petals and leaves inside. "What is this?", I asked.
Sam: A baby snail.
Me: Is it the slug you were holding this morning before school?
Sam: No, this one has a tiny shell.
Me: Your homework is in my purse, go get it done.

Sam proceeded to ignore me and watch Ghost Whisperer.
I looked over 20 minutes later and he was sitting on the couch next to the open pencil box. Also, he was digging around his crotch like he'd just lost something and it rolled under him.
Me: Is that snail on my couch?
Sam: No, it's curled up in it's shell, taking a nap.
Me: Get that thing off my couch.
Sam: (standing up so he can find the thing) It's ok, it's inside it's shell, completely.

He then finds it and holds it in his grubby little hand, gazing at it like he's in love.

A few minutes later I look over and the snail is perched on his arm, but still inside it's shell.
Sam: (in a girly voice) Is that snail on my poody?
I rolled my eyes at him. Who knew a kid named poody could be so sassy. Maybe I should tell him the snail isn't coming out because it's dead.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Flu Shots

This year we are waging the athletes foot battle early. I made an appointment for Sam to have his feet looked at today. We walked away with a prescription for two creams and a recommendation for a different type of sock. So, pretty much back doing what we have been doing for the last year. I thought there were a few other appropriate options and I made them known. I suggested dipping his feet in battery acid, a shot between the toes or cutting his feet off with some type of laser. My ideas were shot down. There is good news though, it turns out that getting prescription cream is 10 times cheaper than buying it over the counter.

While waiting to see the doctor the desk woman offered Sam a flu shot. He politely said,"No, thank you." and went back to his magazine. She looked at me and I nodded. I whispered that he was getting it, and not to worry I'm getting one too this year. He asked me if I was getting it today and I told him I was getting it on the 10th. He said no again. I said yes. We both got them, today. And then while driving to the store to pick up the cream he suggested he deserved a treat for being so brave about the shot. He had two candy bars picked out and then he saw a display of sillybandz... I caved. He put the candy back and picked out a batch of Halloween shaped junk.

OH, and by the way, we are down to 10 weeks until our little lady makes her debut!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My Silly Bandz Nightmare

Have you heard of Silly Bandz? If not, they look like this:

They come in a variety of colors and shapes. The kids like them. They wear them on their wrists. They trade them. They compare them... The kids LOVE them.
I have never purchased any of these and yet my kid has a wrist full. How he talks his friends into giving them to him without a trade, I do not know. I did witness him admiring his neighbors glow in the dark silly bandz when her mom made her give him one... Thus my nightmare.
Later that night, well after Sam had been put to bed, he strolled into our room like it was the middle of the day asking how he could charge up his glow in the dark silly band. We put it on the tissue box right under the lamp on my nightstand. I said, "I'll bring it to you in ten minutes. Don't get out of bed again." He sauntered back to his room. Ten minutes later, I made the delivery and that band, which happened to be shaped like a pair of short, of all things, was glowing good.
Fast forward to 1am. I was dead asleep when suddenly my eyes popped open. I was startled to see Sam standing less than a foot away from me.
Me: What the heck are you doing?
Sam: Charging up my silly band.
Me: The light is off.
Sam: I'm using the light from your alarm clock.
Fast forward again to 9 am. Sam has been gone for a good half hour. He roller bladed to school since his bike had it's 3rd flat tire in two weeks. I'm relaxing in my bed because my ankles are still swollen from the day before. It's been that kind of week. The phone rings, I answer and hear a tiny voice say, "Hi mom."
Me: (confused because school started one minute before and I can't imagine what could already be going wrong) Hi Sam.
Sam: I forgot my shoes.
Me: Ok, I'll bring them over.
All the way to the school I can't help thinking that had he slept through the night instead of worrying about the glow power of his silly bandz he surely would have remembered his shoes.
To start your own nightmare visit here:
Be sure to watch the featured music video.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Conversations in Costco - Episode 2

Picture us sitting at a dirty "picnic" table with giant hot dogs in a giant warehouse type store.

Me: Sam that guy behind you has a Goonies T-shirt on.
Sam: What does it say?
Me: It says, "Goonies never say die"
Sam: (In a girly voice) I'm not a Goonie.
Me: I dare you to look at him and yell , HEY YOUUUU GUUUYYYSSS!
Sam: (smiles and takes a bite of his giant hot dog)

... A few minutes pass...

Sam: Ok, I'm going to do it!
Sam turns, towards the guy, yells, "HEY YOUUU GUUYYSSS!" in his best Sloth voice. The dude wouldn't even look at him but his wife turned around really fast and gave us a dirty look. Sam and I busted up laughing.
Matt: (looking really uncomfortable) Maybe that guy doesn't feel like being teased about his shirt today.
Me: He shouldn't have worn it then, besides, we aren't teasing him, we are trying to bond with him... He doesn't deserve that shirt.
Sam and I continue to laugh...

Thursday, September 2, 2010

100 Days to Go!

As I type there is a little human going crazy inside my belly. I'm no good a deciphering the movements. I can't tell her head from her feet. But there is a lot of movin' and shakin' goin' on. Matt can feel it and see it. I'm picturing either a raging fit going on in there or a dance party. It's hard to believe that somebody who can move so much and be so strong still has 100 days to grow.
I'm nearly 26 weeks and eager to start pushing... But also enjoying these fun feelings at the same time. Feelings I have longed for for eight long years. The moving babe, the planning, the thinking about names (we have one picked out, by the way). The extra ultra sounds - my Ob's office was having trouble seeing all they were looking for, so I go to come back for another at 24 weeks and then yet another this week in the parinatology department. All is well. All fun stuff.
And then there are the not so fun feelings. The joints loosening and the joints stiffening for no apparent reason. The pinching of the sciatic nerve - random and not as bad a the end of the pregnancy with Sam. And don't get me started on the ever threatening charlie horse in my calves. Youch! They always strike in the middle of the night while I sleep. Luckily my trick of flexing my toes up, flat footed still works, but not until after I feel like something took a big bite out of my leg. My hands and ankles still swell occasionally, but my little exercises to fight off edema are still working.
The A-number-one problem, that which I worry about most, is the glow. Several people have told me now that I am glowing. A nice thing to say, but I fear, in actuality the loss of brain cells, caused by pregnancy, is showing in my new found facial expression, which is, blank, and mistaken for a glow. It's proven you know, that women who are pregnant lose brain cells. Also that their feet grow. So after this, my 8th pregnancy I am feeling really dumb, and who knows, by the end I may be wearing clown shoes to match my new brain.
I have been so forgetful. My mind wanders mid conversation. I can't articulate thoughts or ideas. Names escape me. Events go by and I don't even miss them for days. I double book myself. I repeat myself. I ask questions multiple times before the answers start to sink in. It's really annoying for someone who's mind is usually a steel trap of information. Will these cells come back? Will I have the drive and the thoughts to be the blogger I once was? Will I eat my new baby, who I have been so, so hungry for?

In other news, Matt and I celebrated our 10th anniversary by going to see The Lion King Broadway production at the Capitol Theatre in Salt Lake City. We had plans to stay at the Little America, downtown, but when we arrived they gave us a complementary upgrade to The Grand America. It was such a fun little trip. The show was fabulous, though the over abundance of children in the audience was very distracting. The hotel was beautiful, though haunted. A totally great weekend.
Sam started 4th grade last week! I can't believe it. He is more than half way through elementary school. But he's just my little boy. I have vivid memories of 4th grade. It was my best year. I moved up to the upstairs class rooms with the 5th and 6th graders. And I was so mature and totally awesome to the max. I had the most radical biker shorts with neon strips on the side and a grown out mullet. I wonder if Sam feels as grown up as I did... I kind of hope not.
Things are going well so far. He likes his teachers and he comes home happy. Something new this year, Sam has been riding his bike to and from school with a friend. They love it!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Results are in...

After a few anxious and painful (for me anyway, that lady was DIGGING with her magic ultrasound wand) minutes the baby showed us it's business.

It's a girl! She was being modest and we hope she stays that way.

I admit, I shed a few tears. Though I'm not sure why. Sam is a little disappointed, he kept saying on the way that he hoped it was a boy. But he says he is happy. Matt and I are feeling relief that it's a girl. The weird fact that I have felt like it was a girl all this time was putting pressure on us. If it had been a boy we might feel like we HAVE to try again and at this point neither of us have been feeling up to that. So, sweet relief.

Now to agree on a name.... I'm determined to get my way!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

This one is for Anj!

I've been called out on facebook, and told it is time for an update. I don't know where my blogging spirit has gone.
We are having a wonderful summer. I no longer have employment, except of two hours a week at the Rec Center Day care, so we are feeling super poor. And hot. We have decided not to turn the AC on this year to keep the electric bill as low as possible. Luckily it has been a fairly mild July... so far. There have been a few days that were hot enough to make me miserable but it has pretty much cooled off every night so far. Sam and I cool off at the Rec pool and the Library.

On July 3rd Matt and Sam went to help Pete and Whitney move. When they came back Sam noticed a large flag stuck in the grass at our neighbors. He asked Matt what it was there for and when Matt told him it was there for the 4th of July, Sam said, "But that's in August." Apparently Sam's momma needs to review the basics of the calendar with him over the long summer break.

Another funny thing I heard from Sam was when he was singing to himself. This is what I heard:
"Shot through the heart,
and your to late,
You give love a band aid."
When I think about it, it makes total sense to give a band aid to someone who's been shot.

Still pregnant! 18 weeks! I am feeling good. Some of my energy has returned, which I am really happy about. Despite having lost 20 pounds, most of my pants are starting to fit very snugly and some of them just plain don't fit. So my constant mantra of "Grow baby, grow!" must be working. We go to the doctor again on the 28th, when we will have an ultrasound and find out if my instincts are right or wrong about this baby being a girl. I'm not hoping one way or the other, I just want healthy, but I still think it's a girl for some reason. I could be wrong, of course, we'll see.

Today is Matt's Birthday! So if you see him wish him a happy day.
Happy Birthday Matty!

Monday, June 7, 2010

My poor neglected blog.

It's been over a month! I can't believe it. And the last post was a bit of an announcement. Do I have you on the edge of your seat?

My OB says he get nervous when ever he thinks about me. His nurse says she holds her breath every time she sees that I've left a message for her. I call her a lot. We have years of history together and now we are starting a close personal relationship. And I don't know how much more personal I could get with my OB, poor guy. He's got a vein that bulges out of his bald head when ever I'm around.

So, I have made it to week 13. And I'm feeling really good. I never got sick. Sure, I was nauseous a few times and threw up about 20 times total - so far, but compared to my other 7 pregnancies, this has been fairly easy. I am so fooschnickin' tired it's not even funny. And I'm still eating every three hours during the day. But I put an end to my night time feedings. After two months of it, I just couldn't take it anymore and so far so good. Stopping hasn't made me sick and if I find that it does I'll have to go back to it. But I think I'm in the clear for getting the hyper emesis. And I still mananged to lose 20 pounds.

And speaking of night time feedings, I fully expect this baby to be born sleeping through the night. I'm feeling really old. I don't know if it's because I'm 32 and I expected to be done bearing children by now, if it's the idea of starting over with diapers and potty training and baby proofing when we haven't been there for a good six years now or if it's just that I really was pretty young when I had Sam. 23 seems like so long ago. Or maybe it's just because I'm so tired and don't really feel like myself. I'm looking forward to getting some ambition back, but right now I have none. Not even to blog. Several people have gotten after me so here I am.

Thanks for all your prayers and phone calls. I appreciate them so much. And please, keep them coming. At my appointment last Thursday we saw the little peanut with it's healthy heartbeat and it's HUGE HEAD. I asked my OB when he thought I'd be "out of the woods" and he said, "Uuummm, 38 weeks.... when you're breast feeding.... when this kid goes to college?" So, while I feel like this child will be born (and that it's a girl), I still need your prayers.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Bun in the Oven

Yes, my oven.

There are some things we are doing differently. I want IV nutrition this time. There was a internist in California who did it for me while I was pregnant and terribly sick with Sam. I think it may have been the difference between Sam and all the others. I'm the first to admit it may not be the magic bullet, but I think it's worth a try. My OB said he would go along with it if I could get the perinatologist to recommend it. We went to a perinatologist before I was pregnant, and we pleaded our case. She wouldn't recommend an IV or a pic line, but she will put a feeding tube in my nose, through my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines when I get really sick. I'm nervous about this because it will be dangling at the back of my throat for 10-14 days and, as we well know, my gag reflex has a hair-line trigger.
She has three criteria for this to be a viable option. First, I need to be at least 8 weeks because they will need to do an x-ray to be sure the tube is positioned properly. She doesn't want to do an x-ray before 8 weeks. Second, I need to have lost weight from the throwing up. And last, there has to be ketones in my urine. This is a toxin released by the body when it's breaking itself down and burning itself for fuel.
In the mean time she has me eating every three hours. Even in the night. We're trying to trick my body into feeling busy, rather than sick. So far, it seems to be working. I usually get sick between 6 and 8 weeks, being full blown sick by 8 weeks. I'm 7 weeks now and I have felt a little nauseous a few times, but as soon as I eat I feel better. I think it's the eating in the night that's making the big difference. So every night before we go to sleep, Matt says, "When was the last time you ate." I tell him and then we count on our fingers three hours ahead and he sets the alarm. Then he walks over to the desk and counts ahead three hours from the alarm clock, and sets another alarm clock. Then he goes to his alarm clock and sets it. When he wakes up he resets his alarm clock to three hours after my second one, so I'm sure to wake up in time to eat again. So in short, we have three alarm clocks in our room going off four times in the night. It's so fun.
I also went on a short little road trip to Idaho with some friends. We had a visit with a muscle therapist. He taught me how to stimulate my kidneys into flushing fluid more efficiently. My legs had been swelling since the fifth and sixth weeks. It's different and not something I'm familiar with or used to, but it's working. It has kept the fluid out of my legs all week.
My poor body does not like to be pregnant. But I'm hoping 7th times a charm and things all work out. Whether we have a baby in December or not, I know I won't regret trying. So, please, keep us in your prayers.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Biggest Loser Open Casting Call

Do you watch? I do, and I love it! It's inspiring. Inspiring enough to get my Large Marge Tushy off the couch and exercising? Maybe not... It did get us off the couch on March 20th, when we went to the Open Casting Call in Salt Lake City.

The Call was to be held from 10am to 5pm and the rules were you couldn't get in line more than three hours in advance.

I set my alarm to go off a 5:30 am. That would give us enough time to get up , shower, primp, make lunches and drive to Salt Lake City and get in line by 7.

I woke up at 6:08 am. My alarm didn't go off. Apparently I don't know how to set an alarm clock properly. I layed in bed for a good 15 minutes and had some inner whining and groaning about the fact that we were behind schedule. I know, it doesn't make sense. I just set us behind even more.

Once I rousted myself out of bed we got going and ended up in line by 8:30. The line was already half way around the block. I couldn't believe it and I'm pretty sure a lot of the people ahead of me didn't follow the rules.

Sam was with us and he kept himself busy and rarely whined.

It was cold!

Especially in the shade, which there was a lot of.

It was beautiful weather. The sky was clear and the sun was shining.

We brought chairs to sit on. Smartest thing we did all day.

Matt didn't really want to be there but he was a good sport.

He wasn't whining, but the sun was in his eyes.

We cuddled to keep warm and busy.

Sam took a nap standing up.

Not really.

This was the view about 3.5 hours into the wait. About this time there was info being passed down the line. They were taking 20 people at a time, who went into the studio and split up 10 to a table for a group interview lasting 8 minutes. We were also told they were stopping right at 5pm. We weren't sure we would make it.

Getting closer. If you look at the center of the picture you can see a camera just above the heads of the people in line. That is the front of the line.

This is me with my numbered application. I was number 775. The closer we got the the front the more the energy in the line changed. It was exciting.

The group ahead of us waving their apps, about to be ushered into the doors!

So Close!

We waited 7 HOURS!

Right inside the first set of doors there were about 15 security guards. I guess they were worried about a bunch of fat people storming the building.

Through the next set of doors we were met by a small bossy young woman who gave us some tips and a stapler to attach our pictures to the application. She pointed out that there were now 30 people being called in and we would sit 15 to a table.We needed to make ourselves stand out without being obnoxious. She said if we were getting called back at all we would find out that night and if we got a call from a 310 area code we should answer. She also told us we couldn't bring Sam in. I freaked. I didn't wan to to leave him outside alone. The girl behind us told me to say he's autistic. I had a quick image of me having to play that lie out through a whole season of BL. Matt took him to wait with a security guard.

We got into the studio and there was a scramble for chairs. All these nice ladies we had spent the day with suddenly got a bit aggressive. I picked up a chair that was set a bit apart and started to carry it to the other side of the table so I could sit by Matt. I wanted the interviewer to see how gorgeous we are together. He said, "Hey, if you sit behind me I won't be able to see you." I told him I was taking it to the other side to sit by my partner. Dude said,"It's ok, set it there we will make sure your applications are together before you leave." I sat down. Matt was on the other side. Neither one of us was really sitting AT the table.

The interviewer pointed out that Matt was the only guy in the group. I yelled, "That's my partner!" Dude looked at me and gave a knowing nod of the head. I had to mark my territory.

Dude asked if we were married. Matt said, "Yes." I said, "Booyah!" (Just kidding, I didn't, but I wish I had. I was too worried about coming across as obnoxious.) Then Dude had everyone go around the table and say our names, ages, and occupation. Then we went around the table to tell our food weakness. (Which I thought was lame. Just because we are fat doesn't mean we can only talk about food. Right?) When I said," Doughnuts and breads. I'm addicted to carbs." The dude turned to Matt and asked if I was telling the truth. When Dude got around to Matt, Matt said," Reese's peanut butter cups, but I prefer the egg or tree shaped ones because they have more peanut butter and the chocolate is softer." The whole table erupted in agreement. Dude looked at me and asked if Matt was telling the truth. I said, " Yeah, My sugar likes his sugar." (Ok, I didn't say that last part either, but I really wish I had. I just said, " Yeah, he really likes those.)

Interview over.
We were at the table for less than 5 minutes!
And we didn't get called back.

It has been a huge disappointment in my life. We must not have been fat enough. Surely they weren't rejecting our great personalities or our stylish good looks. I really wanted to be fat enough. I really wanted a skinny lady to yell swear words in my face while forcing me to kill myself by way of push ups. I really wanted that.
But the biggest disappointment was the lack of swag and entertainment provided to us while waiting in line. I was hoping to see one or two past cast members strutting their skinny selves around chatting it up with those of us in line. Maybe I expected one of them to have one of those awesome T-Shirt Guns like mascots use and they would shoot shirts at us that say Gillian is the bomb! on them. I think Subway should have been there passing out samples and coupons. Same with Britta, Ziploc, and extra gum. I mean, if they are going to make us watch commercials DURING THE SHOW the least they can do for us fans and hopefuls is show up and give us free stuff. At the least, someone should have come out and giving a rah,rah speech to us just before we went in.

Also, I was expecting them to send us to a little camera booth where we could talk to the camera and stuff. Matt and I had a song we prepared to sing to the camera. No such luck.

Instead, on our way out we got to take a LIVE5 Weather Calendar as we walked out. They were just there in a stack. Not even a person handing them out and thanking us for spending a whole day devoted to their show.

They really should hire me to their PR department. When is the casting call for that job?