Monday, May 18, 2009

I'm a Plumber!!! (Viewer Discretion Is Advised!)

My bathroom sink, which I share with Sam, has been draining extra slow. So slow in fact that if I don't turn the water off in between brush rinsing while I brush my teeth, the sink fills almost to overflowing. Because it drains so slow it is super dirty. My whole bathroom is in desperate need of being cleaned, but I just can't make myself clean it when I know the sink will be super dirty again as soon as we use it. So I decided to fix it myself. Why? I thought you'd ask, so here are the reasons I decided to fix it myself:
1. Why pay someone to do something you can do yourself?*
2. Pouring harsh chemicals like Draino and Liquid Plumber are bad for the environment. Don't get me wrong we use those for our tub because it too drains slowly quarter-annually and it takes a whole bottle of chemicals to clear that up so I'm trying to reduce our pollution prints on this Beautiful Earth.
3. I'm very much like a plumber in that I got a sunburn strip on my back while gardening on Saturday. This means I flash the world and sun alike while bending over. I deserve it though. My sister in law did it first last weekend and I totally made fun of her.... I'm a jerk, I know. To read all about her burn click here.
4. I'm an idiot.
Naturally, I peeked down the drain once the decision was made. I could see that just inside past the stopper there was something... And it was dark. So I of course got out the appropriate tools: My Tweezers!

This is what I pulled out with the Tweezers. Some hair and black gunk which I can only assume is our (Sam's and mine) spit, used toothpaste, skin cells and poo germs.

Wow! After I pulled all that out, I turned on the sink to watch the water flow happily and quickly down the drain.... No improvement. So I got under the sink and unscrewed this little thing that attaches to the plug on the inside of the pipe. It's job is to attach the plug and the thingy that is behind the faucet which you pull to make the plug go down and stop the water from draining. You know, that thing. It was not easy but I got it unscrewed and got the plug out. Isn't it lovely?

I then used another very appropriate tool: a baby spoon, which I stuck down as far as it would go and scooped out more gunky black stuff mixed with hair, which, by the way, did not look red. At this point I couldn't turn the water on to check the flow until I screwed the thingy back on down below. So I did that, and it was not easy, and then turned on the water... NO IMPROVEMENT!

Remember how much I have in common with plumbers? Well, of course I busted under the sink and took off the U-bend. Luckily, I had the fore sight to get a towel and a bowl before I did. It came off no sweat. And it did not smell pretty, let me tell you. And I could see an odd bunch of hair hanging from where the tubes had been connected. I'm no fool (though I am an idiot - remember?) so I grabbed a wad of TP and yanked on the hair. Out came the biggest mass of the black gunky stuff ever know to mankind.

For Your viewing pleasure, I took a close up of it. You are very welcome!

It was roughly the size of a small rat. I put the U-bend back on, reattached the plug to it's thingy. And screwed the other thingy back on and stuff. That part was not easy. Then I turned on the water and you can imagine my delight when it flowed beautifully and naturally down the drain, as it should.
Now I have no excuse for not cleaning the bathroom, Dang it!!!!

*Answer: Because it's freakin' gross and YUCKY!!!


Jessica said...

That is disgusting. Thank you for sharing. At our house we call that pulling the wookie out of the drain. My dad makes wookie noises when he does it.

Emily said...

dude, you SO rock! when can you come to our place with your wrench and bucket... oh yeah, and the tweezers??

and um... ew!

Becky said...

Dude! Good job! NO THANK YOU for the picture! GROSS! That big ol' black thingy IS a small rat!!! After closely inspecting the picture...I'm sure of it! GROSS!!!

Holley, Dane Brien & Wesley Berry said...

GROSS! I have totally had a similar experience. You just get to a point where you can't stand it anymore. You are now a DIY Maverick. You should feel proud of your accomplishment. Now instead of telling people you saved a bunch of money on your car insurance by switching to Geico, you can tell them you saved a bunch of money on your plumbing by being brave and tackling the job yourself. "I thought that meant something to you?"

I think I watch too much tv.

Sandy said...

My husband gets nervous when I fix things myself. One less reason for needing him around.

Jeanna said...

The rat is so grody! As for the sunburn.....I understand.

Lilianne said...

SICK!!!!!!!! I once pulled a huge goopy blob of hair and slime out of our tub drain and, while totally and absolutely revolting, I couldn't help but feel this huge sense of satisfaction. Gross, I know! Way to go, Plumber Julie!

Anonymous said...

O. M. G. (for gosh of course)

Holy Hell Hannah!


Just plain nasty!

Those are my initial reactions, but I am seriously so proud of you. It really was the size of a rat!!
SICK. SICK. SICK. But the satisfaction of that happening is off the charts :) Go girl! You are now a real plumber :)