Some people read tea leaves, I read the mail.

Several week ago I received a package in the mail.

Judging by the box, I thought it was my Mother Of The Year Award.

Alas, it was just baby swag.... Baby Swag? When I was preggers with Sam, my doctors office signed me up (or sold my personal information - it all depends on how you look at it) to some mailing list and then all through the pregnancy, and Sam's first year of life, I got stuff in the mail. Formula, diapers, nipple cream, butt cream, etc. You name it, I got it.

For the first pregnancy after Sam (there have been six) I ended up on the list again. But I miscarried and still the swag came. It didn't bother me too much because that miscarriage was just a fluke and surely I would get pregnant again and we'd have another baby soon. It was not in the stars.

The doctors office is smart. In more than a medical way. They have never signed/sold me up for swag again. I thank them for that. Something I had never thought of until this little pink box of formula arrived.

I was seriously confused when I opened the box. I'm not pregnant. Why was this sent to me. I'll admit, it's a little bit painful. There is nothing I would like to do more than spend hundreds of dollars on baby formula. I counted back to my last miscarriage which was in October of '08. Way too long ago to explain the baby swag. Maybe this is a sign?

Two days later, another package in the mail.

Hmmm... What could this be? A tiny newborn diaper? Some breast pad samples?

Alas, if I try to read the mail, the way some people read tea leaves, then I'm being told the same old story.

You're pregnant and having a baby...

Just kidding, here's some tampons...

But still, I hope. That is why the formula found it's way to my pantry.

Right next to the lentils which I also never use.